In September, it was the thought of her grandmother that made Kathy Demetillo decide to help an elderly homeless man sitting on a bench in Dufferin Grove Park.
Three months later that man has a home to call his own, not because of a city or provincial program — but thanks to Demetillo and the help of a small army of generous neighbours. A GoFundMe campaign to support the costs for the man’s newly rented basement apartment has so far raised about $6,000.
“I become happy when I’m giving, and I realized that our community, too, is happy when they give,” said Demetillo, a west end mom and makeup artist. “Our community is beautiful.”
In Toronto, shelters are at capacity each night and encampments in local parks are common. Dufferin Grove Park, in the city’s west end, has one of the largest encampments, with a monthly average of 27 tents in 2024, according to The Local.
Ultimately, Demetillo said, it’s government intervention that’s needed to solve the homelessness crisis. But that knowledge hasn’t stopped her and others from believing in the importance of helping one neighbour — and doing just that.
Bonding over coffee
Demetillo saw the man in the park for the first time in September, on the way to drop her daughter off at school. He has asked TorontoToday not to use his name out of a desire for privacy.
Slouched on a bench where he slept overnight, his head was covered by his coat in a manner that reminded Demetillo of the posture of her late grandmother, she said.
Every day for the next two weeks as she passed by, she saw him there in the mornings. Moved by the idea of her grandmother needing to sleep on a park bench, Demetillo went one day to the local Walmart and purchased a tent.
The next morning, she brought a coffee, a McDonalds’ meal and the tent to the park, but was nervous to approach the man, concerned he might be aggressive, she said. Accompanied by a passerby, Demetillo offered the gifts.
The man refused the tent, citing a back problem preventing him from sleeping on the ground, but welcomed the coffee and the conversation.
“Thank you for talking to me,” she recalled him saying. “‘It just gets lonely here.’”
In the following weeks, Demetillo often purchased a coffee at a local convenience store for the man — black with one sugar — and the two sat together, talking.
“I was raised by my grandmother. He was raised by his grandmother,” she said, of the commonalities that bonded them as friends. Both Demetillo’s husband and the elderly man are also frugal — something she said they joked about together.
In late November, however, the weather got colder.
The man told her not to worry — he had a list of shelters he could go to; and city staff would come and tell him where to go if the temperature got too low.
But Demetillo knew he didn’t feel comfortable at the shelter where many people have mental health challenges and use drugs, she said. So she came up with another idea instead.
A room of his own
One evening at the beginning of December, Demetillo posted in the Dufferin Grove community Facebook group.
“Good evening neighbours. There is a 70 year old homeless man in Dufferin Grove that I am helping by giving food and necessities,” she said. “This is his second winter on the street.”
She said the man doesn’t drink or do drugs, and that he’s a kind and gentle guy. Moved by his predicament, Demetillo said she was planning to use some of her own money to put the man up in a hotel, but asked if anyone else was able to contribute, allowing him to stay a little longer.
Several people liked the post, and a few sent some money, raising $200. The next morning, Demetillo shared the idea with the man, but he declined the aid.
On the way home from the park, however, Demetillo spotted a for-rent sign on a nearby house advertising a basement apartment. She knocked on the door and spoke to a tenant, who passed along the phone number for the landlord, who is a local business owner. She met him later that day.
Demetillo knew it would be a long shot. Few landlords are willing to rent to people coming out of homelessness. But “the stars just aligned,” she said. After meeting that day with the man, the landlord said he was willing to rent it to him.
The elderly man receives monthly government support, but did not have the money to cover first and last months’ rent. For that reason, he was reluctant to take the apartment, but Demetillo expressed her concern at him being on the street during the winter.
Ultimately, he accepted, and Demetillo paid the first and last month’s rent on the spot, knowing how quickly apartments are leased.
“I said, ‘I don’t know what’s [gotten] into me … but we will find a way.’”
A community rallies to offer support
The next day, Demetillo posted again in the Facebook group, sharing the good news and asking if anyone was willing to chip in.
“If you know me personally, you would know I am not a scammer … I understand if you are skeptical,” she said. “But please find it in your heart to help.”
Quickly, the post got traction.
Suzanne Wilson, a member of the group who lives close to Dufferin Grove, sent $100.
Wilson said she’s sometimes griped about the local encampment, frustrated about “losing the park” to the tents, and that the space had become a “de-facto shelter.”
“If I’m going to bitch about it, I better be willing to put my money where my mouth is,” she said, with a laugh. Demetillo had provided a concrete solution and made it easy to help — so she did, she said.
The man began moving into his home the next day.
GoFundMe, and hopes of a job
In the subsequent weeks, dozens of community members have donated nearly $6,000 through a GoFundMe campaign aiming to support the man’s rent for a year.
Jessica Danyszscuk, a single mom who used to live in the neighbourhood, donated $40.
“There is very little good left in the world today and many, many people in our city that need help,” she said. “If I could help in any way to make someone else’s Christmas or day better, that’s a gift to me.”
In addition to donations, some neighbours have provided material goods, such as boots and a chair for the man’s new home.
To help raise additional funds, Demetillo also offered to donate the revenue from her work as a makeup artist to support the man. So far, two people have booked wedding makeup and three have scheduled makeup lessons — gigs that will raise about $1,500 collectively, she said.
The man is exceedingly grateful for the support, Demetillo said, and is slowly adjusting to his new home.
More than anything, she added, he wants to be self-sufficient and is hungry for work as a janitor or in warehousing.
Need for more government support
Demetillo acknowledged the process has been stressful. Connecting neighbours to provide support and managing the fundraising has all taken time, she said. But it’s been worth it.
“He needs the help.”
So too, she added, do others still sleeping in Dufferin Grove Park.
“I feel embarrassed that [we] are doing this for one person — and we live in Canada.”
“It’s shameful,” she said. “But we do what we gotta do.”
